The nature of caring for others...

Inspired by a post by Matt Erickson, I read a bit more from a book called, "Out of Solitude", by Henri Nouwen. His thoughts on the reality of caring for others is incredibly challenging. I thought I'd share a portion of this...comment if you'd like...it's kind of long. Sorry for this...I felt like none of it could be left out:


"Real care is not ambiguous. Real care excludes indifference and is the opposite of apathy. The word “care” finds its roots in the Gothic “Kara” which means lament. The basic meaning of care is: to grieve, to experience sorrow, to cry out with. I am very much struck by this background of the word care because we tend to look at caring as an attitude of the strong toward the weak, of the powerful toward the powerless, of the have’s toward the have-not’s. And, in fact, we feel quite uncomfortable with an invitation to enter into someone’s pain before doing something about it.

Still, when we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares.

You might remember moments in which you were called to be with a friend who had lost a wife or husband, child or parent. What can you say, do, or propose at such a moment? There is a strong inclination to say: “Don’t cry; the one you loved is in the hands of God.” “Don’t be sad because there are so many good things left worth living for.” But are we ready to really experience our powerlessness in the face of death and say: “I do not understand. I do not know what to do but I am here with you.” Are we willing to not run away from the pain, to not get busy when there is nothing to do and instead stand rather in the face of death together with those who grieve? . . .

Our tendency is to run away from the painful realities or to try to change them as soon as possible. But cure without care makes us into rulers, controllers, manipulators, and prevents a real community from taking shape. Cure without care makes us preoccupied with quick changes, impatient and unwilling to share each other’s burden. And so cure can often become offending instead of liberating. It is therefore not so strange that cure is not seldom refused by people in need. Not only have individuals refused help when they did not sense a real care, but also oppressed minorities have resisted support, and suffering nations have declined medicine and food when they realized that it was better to suffer that to lose self-respect by accepting a gift out a non-caring hand. . . .

. . . Every human being has a great, yet often unknown, gift to care, to be compassionate, to become present to the other, to listen, to hear and to receive. If that gift would be set free and made available, miracles could take place. Those who really care can receive bread from a stranger and smile in gratitude, can feed many without even realizing it. Those who can sit in silence with their fellowman not knowing what to say but knowing that they should be there, can bring new life in a dying heart. Those who are not afraid to hold a hand in gratitude, to shed tears in grief, and to let a sigh of distress arise straight from the heart, can break through paralyzing boundaries and witness the birth of a new fellowship, the fellowship of the broken. . . .

To care means first of all to empty our own cup and to allow the other to come close to us. It means to take away the many barriers which prevent us from entering into communion with the other. When we dare to care, then we discover that nothing human is foreign to us, but that all the hatred and love, cruelty and compassion, fear and joy can be found in our own hearts. When we dare to care, we have to confess that when others kill, I could have killed too. When others torture, I could have done the same. . . .

By the honest recognition and confession of our human sameness we can participate in the care of God who came, not to the powerful but powerless, not to be different but the same, not to take our pain away but to share it. Through this participation we can open our hearts to each other and form a new community."
--H. Nouwen

The Mission, part one

For our Christian Thought and Culture class, we watched the movie, "The Mission", starring Robert DeNiro and Jeremy Irons from back in the 80's.


This movie was very powerful. Probably one of the most influential movies I have ever seen. I can't say that I've processed all of my thoughts yet concerning this movie, so I'll probably share more on it in the future.

Needless to say, the movie raises alot of questions about the nature and process of evangelism, about church and state issues, and about love in general. I thought it was very good...and very challenging to watch. I would suggest this movie to anyone (it is rated R, so anyone above 17, that is). It definitely is a beautiful movie (with an equally beautiful soundtrack, I must add)

I will most likely post more on this at a later date...

favorite hymn...

Below is, perhaps, my favorite hymn. I enjoy the depth of the lyrics and the message they reflect. If you hadn't noticed, the third verse became the title of my blog site. To explain the title and why I chose "trace the rainbow", it comes back to my obsession with history (kind of). When I look back on my life, I can see how God has brought me to where I am today. I think that is what the hymn is referring to: "I trace the rainbow through the rain". There certainly has been pain in my life (as with everyone else who has ever lived) ... but I've seen God work through this pain (the rain). Thus, I know that He is present in my life and all that I do...and therefore, I can have hope in His promises.

"O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in Thee;
I give Thee back the life I owe,
That in Thine ocean depths it's flow
May richer, fuller be.

O Light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to Thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in Thy sunshine's blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to Thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from Thee;
I lay in dust life's glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red,
Life that shall endless be."

Confession

Amongst the many different issues that I am currently "grappling" with right now with regards to life, faith, and Christian theology and practice....is the issue of how the Church deals with sin and sinners. There seems to be somewhat of a tendency amongst many in the Church to relate to the world...with that "cheap grace" that Dietrich Bonhoeffer speaks of. Certainly there is no one who is out of the reach of God's love and grace. Certainly we need to preach this reality to the world. Certainly we need to be faithful to His command to love our neighbor and preach a gospel that is extended to all people.

But perhaps we also need to be careful in this. Perhaps we should consider the implications of over-emphasizing the realities of God's love and grace without addressing adequately His command for confession and repentance. This can be seen in the contemporary church in various ways: 1. a shift away from any need for a specified time of confession and absolution in the context of worship (if the worship service is supposed to reflect the way we worship God throughout the rest of the week...what are we saying by not including even a small portion of our time of worship to confession?). 2. a seemingly "therapeutic" model of ministry that emphasizes sentimentalism, "feelings-oriented" practices, and self-help guides to living "Your Best Life Now", as one famous prosperity gospel pastor puts it.

I feel like maybe I'm ranting a bit. But I think its more frustration...in that I've been seeing areas of my life where this has become a huge problem. I have experienced how this way of thinking has affected me in the way I view God. I think in some ways, as our culture tends more towards self-absorption and individualism...the Church has lost its footing to the grounds of moral/ethical subjectivism and personal experience. I can clearly see how self-absorbed and individualistic I tend to be...and how it has affected my relationship with, not only God, but also with the community of the Church.

Hans Boersma, one of my professors here at Regent, wrote an essay...where he touches on this topic. I figured I should quote someone who is clearly more intelligent than I am to add some validity to this post. Boersma is writing on how the Church can reconcile Christian hospitality with practices of confession and discipline...and thus, I quote:

"Why is it that we have such difficulty acknowledging the beneficial and hospitable character of confession? I suspect that much of this stems from the psychologizing of the faith that characterizes so much of contemporary North American Christianity. In his monumental study, Sin and Confession on the Eve of the Reformation, Thomas N. Tentler traces the medieval attempt to hold the twin aspects of consolation and discipline in a balance, despite the tension that existed between the two.². I am afraid that evangelicalism, in particular, has decisively opted for the former at the cost of the latter. With Christian bookstores pampering to the insatiable desire of the laity to be consoled, our Church communities are becoming more and more concerned with pragmatic self-help strategies for people trying to cope in our late modern society. The result of this over-emphasis on consolation means that it has become difficult for many churches to display any kind of real, alternative morality. The desire to uphold Christian standards of ethics is labelled as legalism or works righteousness, while immoral practices are defended as at least tolerable within the Church under the guise of Christ-like inclusivity.³° Consolation has trumped discipline; hospitality is redefined as hospitality without boundaries. The result is an inability to appreciate the value of confession and penance."
(Hans Boersma. Liturgical Hospitality: Theological Reflections on Sharing in Grace. Journal for Christian Theological Research. 2003. p. 10. [online] http://www.luthersem.edu/ctrf/JCTR/Vol08/Boersma.pdf.)

I think I will end here. I have more thoughts, but I should actually spend part of my day doing some reading for class. Please respond with any thoughts you may have. I am interested to hear what everyone thinks about this topic...if you have thoughts.

Psalm 51: 3-12
³For I know my transgressions,
And my sin is ever before me.
⁴Against You, You only, I have sinned
And done what is evil in Your sight,
So that You are justified when You speak
And blameless when You judge.
⁵Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me.
⁶Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being,
And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.
⁷Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
⁸Make me to hear joy and gladness,
Let the bones which You have broken rejoice.
⁹Hide Your face from my sins
And blot out all my iniquities.
¹⁰Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹Do not cast me away from Your presence
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
¹²Restore to me the joy of Your salvation
And sustain me with a willing spirit.